Versión en Español, abajo.
Before I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, I was a social butterfly. So I’m going to talk about how Hypothyroidism and thyroid diseases can change your social life.
I’ve always been quite emotional, but I usually managed to control my emotions, I was able to go out and enjoy everything like nothing else in the world mattered.
I suspect my disease was slowly evolving into what it is now (despite having my TSH under control, the symptoms are still there). I used to be a positive person, I loved to hang out with my friends, take walks with them, even going to parties, but mostly I enjoyed going out to eat with them. I had healthy habits at home, my mom have always been a clean cook, I worked out regularly and most of all, I HAD THE ENERGY.
Suddenly, I started going out less and less, my temper was out of control, I would get mad o cry over things that didn’t really matter, I would get upset and/or defensive while having discussions with my friends that we always had in a healthy way. I also was in a very unhealthy relationship that had me under a lot of stress most of the time, I was panicked all the time, he took advantage of that and would tell me “you wasn’t like this when I met you, you don’t go out because of me, I am too important for you”, but that DIDN’T MAKE SENSE to me, he was not the reason for which I didn’t wanted to go out, it was me, for some reason I didn’t have enough energy anymore, I had enough stress with him. Eventually the relationship ended and I don’t blame my hypothyroidism, he didn’t love me, but my disease did contributed to being “unloveable”.
So, when I was diagnosed last July, it all started to make sense, Hypothyroidism takes most of your energy because your thyroid gland is either over active or under active, your body is not getting its enough share of hormones and your brain starts to notice too, suddenly you start having strange mood swings and then depression hits you like a wet rock, people start calling you HYPOCONDRIAC and DRAMATIC, they tell you “you talk too much about that and it’s not even that much of a big deal”, suddenly you don’t have anyone to talk to because people who were close to you think you’re making it all up for attention, then the weight gain (in my case) comes and it’s what people notice first and they start giving you all sort of rude comments “WOW, GIRL, YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN THE PIZZA”, “ARE YOU PREGNANT?”, “YOU NEED TO EAT HEALTHY AND EXERCISE MORE, GO TO THE GYM, LIFT HEAVY WEIGHT”… And you’re already depressed enough, you start wondering ‘Why do I let these people affect me? Oh no, I won’t let them’, you start building yourself a wall to protect yourself from all the mean stuff people tell you and because you’re too sensitive, you could lash out in public… And slowly the social butterfly becomes the bitter one.
The fact that you can no longer eat whatever you want, contributes big time to not be a social butterfly anymore too, because in order to get better you have to quit gluten and mostly processed meats, and let’s be honest, restaurants very rarely would serve grass-feed hormone-free meats. In countries like mine, there are no vegan restaurants and neither restaurants have gluten free options.
I always tell people, PLEASE DON’T JUDGE US SO HARD, WE ALREADY JUDGE OURSELVES HARD ENOUGH. We are fighting a battle with our minds, our psychique, our immune system.
- It’s not that we want to be over emotional, it’s that we have a hormonal imbalance and we cannot have much control of it.
- It’s not that we don’t want to go out, it’s that people will make all sort of mean comments about us and it will hurt us, besides we don’t have the energy meaning we get exhausted very quickly,
- It’s not that we don’t exercise enough, It’s that our metabolism has slowed down a lot and we cannot lose weight despite our healthy attemps, too much excercise can also damage us.
- It’s not that we are weak and clingy, it’s that we sometimes develop mental changes and depression is the most common, if we reach out to you, we trust you and you are important.
This is why by the beggining of May I posted about Borderline Personality Disorder, because somehow we can relate to them at some level, because us HYPOTHYROID PATIENTS also deal with mental health battles.
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF ACCEPTING THAT THIS IS MY LIFE NOW, THAT I HAVE TO BATTLE THIS AND HAVE TO STOP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF, THAT I HAVE TO HELP MYSELF AND TRY TO GO OUT, GROW MENTALLY AND DON’T LET PEOPLE HURT YOU. AND SO CAN YOU, WE SHOULD TRY TOGETHER.